Opening the Heart Center Through Release
It is through direct experience that we are able to discover our truth. We are experiential beings. How can we know what brings us our highest fulfillment unless we cast off from the safe shore and dip into the unbounded potential that life has to offer?
I have spent the last four days at a magical place called Dinosaur Provincial Park in Alberta. Camping the week leading up to the May Long Weekend is definitely the way to do it – I had the whole campground to myself! This was perfect because my intention was to find an isolated place to remove myself from distractions in order to acknowledge the transition I am undergoing.
For three and a half days I went without food and only ingested water in order to allow my body the chance to detoxify and purge the build up of the last few weeks. This is my third time fasting and I have to say that it is by far one of the most rewarding, purifying, and empowering experiences. I highly recommend it to anyone who wishes to learn more about themselves and their relationship to food (do your research first!). Fasting empowers me as I learn that it is possible to go for long periods of time without food. It also helps me to develop my will power as well as trust in myself and my body. Our bodies are highly intelligent and know how to take care of themselves. I feel light and clear.
It was quite a rollercoaster of physical, emotional, and spiritual experience over the past few days. This all culminated into the climax of last night when I experienced the most heart wrenching, excruciating emotional release I can consciously remember. After devoting some time to the setting sun, I walked down to my camp and pulled out my box of attachments (old memories) with the intention of releasing as much as I could into the fire.
During this process of release, I was floored by the emotional outpouring that washed over me. My body was literally convulsing as my heart felt like it was being torn out of my chest. I cannot recall ever having experienced heart break with such intensity. To add to the darkness of this moment, I was even further distraught by the arrogant and racist comments from the campers across the road from me. It was breaking my heart to hear people in such disconnection from their global brothers and sisters.
While I was being thrown about in emotional turmoil, I was gifted the opportunity to observe the emotional tide rippling through my body. The key is observation – to experience the emotion without denying or repressing it – to allow it to rise up and pass through without indulging in the sorrow. This is the middle path which gives us the greatest opportunity for emotional healing through release. I have never felt emotion like this before, and for that I am grateful. Is it possible to love fully without having had your heart broken?
Somewhere in our past we are hurt. I remember crying quite forcefully when I was a child, however my aversion to the emotional pain caused me to build up walls. This is natural, it is a protection mechanism we all have in order to deal with hurt as a child. The challenge is realizing when those walls no longer serve us and when it is in our best interest to bring them down. With emotional maturity we begin to realize that the emotional pain is a gift. It enables us to love and give ourselves fully in each and every moment, despite the pain. Can you love through hurt?
Today I feel lighter and more at peace. I do not doubt that there is more to come. Cracking open my heart has given me a taste of what it feels like to live with an open, compassionate, loving heart. It is through the pain we discover our peace. It is through letting go that we find out who we are beneath the surface.
With a peaceful love,