School of Life

My Quest For Fulfillment

My Quest for Fulfillment

This will be my final online posting for two weeks as I will be leaving tomorrow for Merritt, British Columbia for a 10 day silent meditation retreat, called a Vipassana Meditation.

I am really excited and a little nervous for the challenging journey ahead, but I am mostly looking forward to the opportunity to totally unplug from the growing snowball of life’s to do lists. For so long now I have been taking on too many activities, or rather, too many of other people’s activities. I have been aiming other people’s arrows at their targets, rather than aiming my own arrow at my own target. This is where true fulfillment comes in – your target fills you up with passion and energy so much more than another’s target.

My realization came when I reframed my own personal discomfort and conflict as indicators that I am not working toward my own target, instead of seeing them as problems I needed to work on within myself. I love what I do, and yet I found myself being frustrated and disappointed with others while I was putting out my energy. I had been trying to FORCE myself to not feel a certain way.

If you are feeling lazy, totally drained, stressed, sick, injured, if you procrastinate, feel discomfort, frustration, anger, or if you find yourself resisting in ANY way (these are all resistances, even being late for work on a continual basis) – then those are your indicators that there is conflict and something needs to be adjusted on your path. I’m sure it sounds strange to most people to say that the natural state of a body and organism is health and balance – too many of us have become blinded to our imbalances and illness, most often only addressing the symptoms at best. These happen for a REASON – it means you have some sort of conflict inside of you and it needs to be balanced out!

When you are truly fulfilled, it doesn’t MATTER what other people are doing, whether or not they help, or if things go wrong – you get so much fulfillment, joy, and pleasure from what you are doing that simply doing it is enough. You are charged up, energized, restored, and enlivened from your journey in ways that would seem impossible to most people in today’s world. Your interactions with people while you are on your path give energy to all parties involved – we are not meant to feel so drained. I encourage everyone to spend some time in reflection, looking at the areas in your own life that you feel imbalanced and resistant.

On a personal note – my discomfort is from the anxiety (leading to illness and light sleeping) that I feel and have pushed into the background of my awareness. My endless to do lists are not focusing on what it is that truly fulfills me – if they did, I would be able to focus on one thing at a time, be in the moment while I do it, and feel like my day was complete at the end of it (instead of re-running endless worries and unfinished tasks – and hence the anxiety). I am continuing my quest to uncover my true gifts so that I can be my best self, giving all I can to those in my community <3

I cannot wait for a world that fosters individual exploration into discovering our passions and gifts, while providing the support and encouragement to give back those gifts in a free, open, and accepting environment – we will accomplish and give back so much on this planet and our time here will truly be heaven on Earth. I believe with my entire being that this is not only possible, but that we are very close to realizing this vision – this is WHY we are here – to give our GIFTS to the world!!!

See you on the other side 😉
Mat Rix

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