Embarking on a New Chapter
Deep into the future, tangled in the past,
Gaia has it’s only wish of balance unsurpassed.
Colours showing strength, and odour has its place,
one giant living organism, balancing in space.
Connected are its children, striving for the best,
its lungs are drawing breaths of air, and filling out its chest.
No need to think or focus, or manifest what’s not,
the line of time just spent itself and rotates on the spot.
– Lyrics from One by Dub FX –
As I drove out of Calgary this afternoon to begin my cross-Canada road trip, the full weight of the past few weeks finally hit me. Life has felt so chaotic and fast paced lately, I have barely had a chance to process the changes. Between moving, restoring Eden’s Cove, purging my attachments to fit into a camper, and repairing my camper to the point of liveable, I have let my constructive habits fall aside and the effects of doing so are really being felt. This journey is already teaching me to let go and flow and I just left a few hours ago!
This is the first time I have released all schedule or agenda in such a complete way. Rather than travel for any particular destination, I have instead decided to travel with a particular intention; a WHY instead of a WHERE. One of those intentions is to learn how to follow my intuition – to let my spontaneity, excitement, and curiosity direct me along my path. This is easier said than done of course. Becoming aware of when these directive feelings arise is the first step, the second is having the courage and being open to the vulnerability associated with actually committing to that direction.
My first guiding force is the need for a spring cleaning. I have been eating out (and not very healthily) and neglecting my meditation practice for a few weeks now amidst this major transition period. I decided that I was going to drive until I felt like stopping for a five day body detox and spring clean. This cleaning out is going to consist of a water only fast, writing, meditation, and inner observation in order to fully honour and acknowledge the letting go of much of my old self. I have just let go of my home at Eden’s Cove, the floatation tank, the beautiful community in Calgary, the house I grew up in for 24 years (my parents are selling), and the most rewarding and inspiring relationship I have ever been gifted with that took me places and made me feel in ways I never knew existed. This is the most releasing I have ever experienced and a grieving process needs to be honoured.
I had initially planned (first mistake haha) that I was going to drive to Medicine Hat and then continue on in the morning. A little ways along the highway, I realized that I was going by one of my favourite childhood campgrounds, Dinosaur Provincial Park. I had been wanting to go back and climb on the hoodoos again for as long as I can remember. As soon as I saw the sign to it I knew I was going to go and that it would be the perfect place to spring clean in solitude (at least until the May long weekend). I experienced hesitation as I began making excuses to not go there, however there really aren’t many that are valid when you do not have anywhere to be! The mind likes to make excuses and doubt decisions that the heart knows it needs to do.
Off to Dinosaur Provincial Park to ground, release, heal, centre, and focus intention!
Keep dreaming <3